


Abort Mission

by Anemone_nemerosa



Series: Sweater Weather -verse Oneshots [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: But really lovely idiots, Evil genius Remus, First Dates, M/M, sappy sirius, spionage gone wrong, they are all idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:08:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25961104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anemone_nemerosa/pseuds/Anemone_nemerosa
Summary: Sirius and Remus are on their very first official date. Naturally, the team needs to stay close and protect them. Not snoop. Protect.
Relationships: Background Celeste/Pascal Dumais, Background Natalie Darcy/Kasey Winters, Finn O'Hara/Logan Tremblay/Leo Knut, Remus Lupin and Lily Evans, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, background James Potter/Lily Evans
Series: Sweater Weather -verse Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884271
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	Abort Mission

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sweater Weather](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20750912) by [lumosinlove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumosinlove/pseuds/lumosinlove). 



_He would rather eat a skate than to admit that he's a total sap and yet, here we are_.

Remus was lying on a blanket in the middle of a wildflower meadow at the edge of lolligo-lake in the park, surrounded by candles, his head on his boyfrieds lap while being fed strawberries by said boyfried.

He absolutely _loved_ it! And even more, he loved that Sirius obviously loved it. His dopey smile hadn’t left his face since he removed Remus' blindfold on the blanket. 

Little did Remus know that in the nearby shrubbery, a certain Russian tried to not freak-out as a little spider slowly roped down in front of his face.

"Kuny be quiet! They will hear us!" Nado was on edge.

"NADO is spider, might bite us, might be ve- veno... Might be bad!" Kuny whisper-yelled while leaning as far away as possible without leaving the greenery.

"You are 6'4'' Russian terror on legs! Stop getting spooked by a tiny spider."

"But spider..."

"There are no venomous spiders in Gryffindor. Keep calm, love." Nado patted the head of his, secretly very soft and sensitive, flatmate in a calming way.

Nados phone lit up with a message.

WHAT THEY HELL ARE THE DISASTER TWINS DOING?! THEY WILL BE SEEN! _–_ The coolest Team

**Who?** – Voice of reason?

Kuny and Nado. – The coolest Team

**This night will be over before I have learned that.** – Voice of Reason

On the other side of the completely undisturbed and definitely not spied on couple, Kasey and James were laying flat on the ground between the high grass, binoculars rised.

"See anyone snooping on our precious lovebirds, Kase?"

"You mean except us?"

"Oi! We're not snooping, we protect them. With love. No one dare interrupting my lovesick puppies. I will take them all down before they even come close!!"

"Endearing, Pots. I think I already have like nine ticks at my- Hell no!" Kasey dropped his binoculars and started frantically tapping on his phone.

I think they have spotted the Voice of Reason! Abort approach! – The coolest Team

**Who?** – Voice of Reason

_YOU! Stir the boat away from the shore before they can make out your faces!_ – Disaster Twins

**Whose idea was it with the stupid code names anyway?** – Voice of Reason

Oh, Shut up Dumo, they're brilliant! – The coolest Team

No. No, they're not. – Lovebirds

**It's Talker here and they are brilliant!** – Voice of Reason

**NO! Do not betray me!** – Voice of Reason

_Nicknames is fun. Not have much fun here! Spider try kill us!_ – Disaster Twins

Oh, hell xD – Lovebirds

"Oh my god, this is gold!" Leo sniggered and leaned out of the giant hammock they've installed the day prior in the crown of a large weeping willow, directly above Remus and Sirius.

He and his two boys were scheduled to keep an overview of proceedings and who would say no to a night out in a hammock with the hottest guys of the NHL, which just so happened to be his boyfriends? Even if the occasion was absolutely ludicrous, he was in.

"But the codenames _are_ bad." Logan put his binoculars down to rub at his eyes.

"Well, Pots came up with them, what did you expect?"

"True." Logan yawned and carefully rolled over to bury his face in Finns chest.

"It's funny in Potty's flat and stupid sense of humour. I Mean Lovebirds. Us. In the tree. In a Hammock that resembles a nest. Not subtle but entertaining."

"Shut up Fish." The other two groaned in unison.

"What is that?" Leo sat up, making grabby hands for Logan's spy glasses.

"What?" Finn peaked up, too.

"Over there, near Kuny and Nado"

"You mean the disaster twins?"

"Finn you're sleeping in your own bed tonight." Leo was getting a little irritated with these stupid, overcomplicating names. _Potter!_

"Ok."

"Alone."

"NOOOOOOO!" Finn was a man! He would never whine! ~~But he did.~~

"Then shut up, there are people coming! Logan, send an alert."

Hey, Nado there is a group of teenage girls approaching! – Lovebirds

Oh no _._ And it’s Disaster Twins. – The coolest team

And sure, when Nado turned around there was a gaggle of gushing girls ducking a few feet away in the same bushes, peaking out to get a glimpse at the unsuspecting couple in the meadow. Nado tried to stand very still while also looking intimidating wnough to scare the girly away. _If I don't move, they won't see me. Just like in Jurassic Park._

"Nado."

"Nado."

"Nado."

"WHat?" This time, it was the addressee's turn to whisper-yell.

"I'm think is too much same." Kuny quietly fidgeted with his hands.

"What?"

"They and we. Should feel bad for snooping on cap. We just like girls."

"Kuny, we do not snoop. We protect!"

"Sure?"

"...no." Nado, veeery slowly, turned to his phone.

_Hey guys, you think we've taken this too far? -_ Disaster Twins

Why, what would ever make you think that? - Lovebirds

WE. NEED. TO. PROTECT. – The coolest Team

**And who is gonna protect them from you? Or... us?** – The voice of Reason

_OH SHIT! One of the girls in the shrubbery is Adele!!!!_ – Disaster Twins

**Has she seen you? –** Voice of Reason

ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSON! – The coolest Team

**My end is near. Farewell, friends. It was tolerable knowing you. –** Voice of Reason

RIP Dumo. - Lovebirds

After watching the others flee the scene, more or less stealthily, Leo turned to Finn and Logan.

"Think we're we done now?"

"Seems like it." Finn just shrugged.

"Then let's go home."

"We can't." Logan stopped mid getting up and looked at Leo.

"Why?"

"Caps and Loops cannot not notice us climbing down the tree directly besides them. And so far, I think we might be the safest of them all."

"Right." Logan plopped down again.

"Well... We have blankets, it's a mild night with a clear sky..." Finn just noticed airily. And continued with a little smile while his boys were following along with interest.

"We're together..."

"Rather romantic up here isn't it, with the branches like curtains..." Leo continued with bright eyes.

"Might make the best out of it?" Logan patted suggestively at his side.

"YES!!!" Leo exclaimed in a very quiet whoop and flung himself between the others.

Little did Remus know... Or, did he?

_Three days earlier..._

Remus created **HELP!**

**Re** added Lils to the group-chat.

Re added _Nat_ to the group-chat.

_Sweetie, what's the matter?_ \- Nat

**Sirius and I will have our first official date in three days.** \- Re

_Yes, baby!_ \- Nat

Whoooo! \- Lils

What do you need? \- Lils

**They are up to something**. - Re

_Who?_ \- Nat

**Potts and Kase**. - Re

_What do you mean?_ \- Nat

Yes, they are. \- Lils

**What do you know lils? -** Re

James is too excited. Something's Fishy. - Lils

**You think Finn is in there, too?** \- Re

_xD_ \- Nat

Not what I meant, but most likely. Yeah. \- Lils

_But why?_ \- Nat

I don't know. \- Lils

_Hey, let's add Celeste. She can read Dumo like a book and if Finn is involved, Logan is, too._ \- Nat

...And then Dumo knows... and then Celeste knows. \- Lils

_Correct!_ \- Nat

Remus added Celeste to the group-chat

Bonsoir messieurs dames! What is the occasion? - Celeste

Remus and Sirius are going to have a date and some of the other idiots are up to something, you know something? \- Lils

**HEY!** \- Re

You are not an idiot, love but you boyfried.... -Lils

**... Fair.** \- Re

Ohhhh, that is happening. Pascal is very excited! Je suis content pour toi, Remus. - Celeste

**Thank you, Celeste <3 But do you know whether they are planning some nerve-racking stuff to destroy my moment?** \- Re

I will not let that happen! - Celeste

_Leave it to us, sweetie, we're gonna stop them._ \- Nat

**Oh, I don't want them to stop**. - Re

Really? \- Lils

**I want them to regret**. - Re

_LOVE IT!_ \- Nat

YES! I'm in. \- Lils

Absulemont. - Celeste

**I love you all**. - Re

_Two hours before the date..._

_Everything is ready_. – Nat

**Thank you!!!** – Re

You get an update after your date. \- Lils

Adele is ready and wants you to know that she got it. Now go and don't worry ma chérie. - Celeste

**Alright :D Love you!** \- Re

_The morning after the date..._

When Kuny and Nado arrived at the locker room, about five minutes late, they were in for a shock. Every stall of the 'Mission protect- squad' was plastered with photographs of them spying. The guys that politely declined any involvement were chirping them badly for being that bad in secrecy.Although, no pictures of O'Knutzy were taken during the mission, there were indeed pictures of them setting up the hammock.

They would probably never hear the end of it.

Sirius and Remus were nowhere to be seen... the quiet was freaking them more out than any yelling ever could.

And then, it came down on them. Cap and Loops were already waiting on the ice with snacks for the team and death-drills for the assholes.

"We'll never do that again!"

"Snooping on our Cap and PT? No, they are too much of a powerful combination."

"But how did they get all the photos?"

"Adele." Dumos face was crestfallen.

"But that means-" Nado piqued up while rubbing his sore ass.

"Celeste." Dumo nodded. 

"Oh, hell." Leo muttered while he and Finn dragged an almost passed-out Logan along. If his exclamation concerned that or the evil genius of Dumo's wife, no one knew.

"Probably Lily and Natalie, too." James and Kasey were leaning against each other.

"No chance. Too smart." Kuny shook his head while he softly kneaded Nados shoulders.

"Caps and Loops are gonna pay for that mean trickery." The desperation on Dumo's face was replaced with utter determination.

"I've pranked people before they were even out of their diapers! With my own wife, nontheless! Je n'accepterai pas la défaite!"

"What have we done...."

**Author's Note:**

> This is a oneshot from an Anon request on Tumblr :)


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